Keeping your Engagement & Relationship STRONG Through Adversity // Timberline Lodge Engagement Session

I am not entirely sure what day I am on for our own social distancing but I can tell you I am super grateful for my husband being home from work today so I can have time to focus on and give back to my clients when they need me most!

For today’s blog I really wanted to talk about this season of your engagement. You are ENGAGED and that is so exciting in its own so through these challenging times. Now is the absolute BEST time to start supporting each other. We will all be affected on different levels and in different ways. We all need to remain flexible not only with those outside of our homes but with each other as well! Some couples could spend every waking moment together and are good-to-go but others will struggle … so let’s talk about that.

Not every couple loves to be side-by-side 24/7 and THAT’S OK!

Not every couple has the same interests and THAT’S OK!

Not every couple has been through a challenging time and THAT’S OK!

I could go on but I hope you are getting the point. The point being. Check in with EACH OTHER and be completely open and honest about how this is affecting you internally and externally. For example, I had originally asked my husband to speak with his supervisor about getting out of work about an hour early today so I could get up to Portland for a portrait session. He decided to take the whole day off … his choice, fine. Then the client needed a little flexibility and asked to move the session to Thursday and I agreed. I updated my husband and he rolled his eyes in annoyance …. I asked him to be more flexible with my work at this time because I need to be flexible with my clients. We talked for a minute and discussed how flexible we need to be with each other and rally around each other to get through these challenging times. It worked.

If you know you don’t necessarily have the same interests, be open to having discussions about how you can keep the relationship strong without smothering each other. This will likely have so many ranging affects that will test a real relationship but you haven’t said your vows yet and I am hoping to put them up (or at least the standard vows), recite them and think about their real meaning … “through sickness & health, through good times and poor, for better or worse”, you guys … these will be tested and the absolute BEST thing you can do is be OPEN with each other, be emotional and show when you are weak or not your strongest. If your partner is struggling, you may need to pull extra weight around the house or make your own sacrifices to boost them up. This is what it’s all about!!!

A little story: My husband and I have now been married 12 years. We had our first born the same year we were married and then BAM, the 2008 recession hit and my husband who was in the excavation industry was out of work and out of luck because of where we lived. We put his house up for sale but we lived in a tiny real community supported by the travel and education industries and no-one was looking or able to buy. I took a job 1 1/2 hours away to support us, the commute was hard but so was staying at home for him. We did this for 3+ years … the house was for sale and we lowered the price time and time again … no offers. His mental health declined, depression set in and together we made a decision to walk away from his house and give it back to the bank. We knew regardless of the hit his credit would take, he wasn’t the only one in that boat but there were bigger things at stake. We moved to Salem where my job was, he joined the Air Force and everything flourished from there. But it took him being totally honest with me about his depression. He felt as the man of the house he should doing more than raising the kids and doing laundry …. I understood and we did what we had to do! Now he has been employed with the Air Force ever since and it is HIS job that is our security at this time. His guaranteed check covers our necessities and we continuously look back to that challenging time and are grateful we were able to work together, communicate and get through it! Now, here we go again … what changes will we need to make? It isn’t clear yet but will will tackle it TOGETHER!

You are on a whole new adventure right now, what will you do with this time together!?! I would love for couples to drop comments below on how they will work together or how they are making changes TOGETHER to get through this! Also, if you need encouragement or advice, ask in the comments and let’s support each other!

For now though, feel free to enjoy these photos of Dora, Willie & Boogie the Poodle up on Mt. Hood for a snowy Engagement Session!