Wedding Guest Etiquette // How to be the BEST wedding guest
As an Oregon Wedding Photographer, I’ve been to my share of weddings of course. I shoot on average 20-25 weddings per year and I wanted to chat a little bit about wedding guests and how you can be the absolute BEST guest!
Let’s start by remembering what a wedding is all about … two people who freaking LOVE each other are committing their lives to each other and planning a celebration with those who mean the most to them. They invited YOU to witness and partake in the celebration … Awesome-sauce, you should feel really special because you ARE really special to them and you are a part of their story!
My clients hire me on average between 9 months - 1 year and I hear so much of the desires and dreams of my clients as they fantasize about their day, send out invitations and await the RSVP … this is where we will start on how to be the BEST guest!
RSVP Early!
No seriously … planning a wedding is soooooo much work, they don’t spend hundreds of dollars and several hours licking and stamping RSVP’s just to know for fun-zies if you’re coming. They do this because they need a headcount for the venue, for the caterer, to know how big of a cake to order and how much alcohol to have on hand … all this = $$$, something they are likely short on at the moment so please, for the LOVE … RSVP asap and definitely don’t invite a +1 unless it’s your actual date.
Give a gift they requested or give them cash
LOL. This one comes from some of my couples but also from myself from 12 years ago when I opened things that I had no use for and and didn’t request. This is not a bitchy thing to say. My point is, the couple knows what they want/need and they have taken the time to put those items out there … it’s also not a big deal if you DON’T give a gift (totally get it, no worries at all) but just don’t get them something they didn’t ask for … this creates the issues down the road of people hanging on to things they were gifted but will never use but feel bad taking it to a thrift store because it was a “wedding gift”. Cash is always lovely and you can give it in the form of a card, gift card, or pin it to them during the money dance (if they are having one) or possibly donate toward their honeymoon where they can really enjoy themselves and make incredible memories!
Don’t show up early - Follow the timeline
There is a time on the invitation you received and that is a time they chose to have guests arrive, please do so as close to that time as possible and please please PLEASE don’t seek out the wedding couple before the ceremony (unless requested). There is so much going on in the final moments leading up to a ceremony and you don’t want to throw them off or get them behind schedule … please, find another guest/friend/relative and visit until it’s time for the ceremony. This will also help preserve the excitement every wedding couple has for their guests seeing them for the first time as they walk down the isle.
Eat & Drink
You certainly don’t have to tell me twice to get in the food or drink line. When a couple invites you to their wedding, they are wanting you to witness a huge moment in their story and then they want to CELEBRATE with you and have an incredible evening. They spend thousands of dollars on food and drink, so make sure you not only enjoy the offerings but TELL THEM HOW GOOD IT WAS/IS!!! Lol, they need confirmation for the money they spent and they want to know it was worth it … tell them. And for Gods Sake … EAT THE DAMN CAKE! haha. Or at least take some home!
Get on the dance floor
The ceremony is over, your tummy is full, you’ve laughed and cried during the toasts … now it’s time to PARTAYYY! If the couple hired a professional DJ or Band, they did it for your entertainment, PUT YOUR PHONES AWAY, step away from the tables … seriously and DANCE! If you’re not a dancer cool … you can still get up and socialize, make rounds and enjoy yourself! If you’re in the wedding party … you best lead by example and keep the dance floor alive!
Ahhhh, how was this!?! I don’t want to sound harsh, but I see a lot in the dozens of weddings I photograph and I want you to know the do’s & don’ts of attending a wedding and what would mean the most to the couple who invited you! It’s a fun evening out and you should enjoy your dang self! I’ll catch you on the dance floor!
